What we do.

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What’s God been teaching me? well i’m glad you asked.

It’s odd that just yesterday I almost deleted my blog; and yet today I feel compelled to share.

This summer was a challenging one for me. During camp, and in the weeks that follow, God has been convicting me of my desire to control my own life. Even decisions others made that I liked stretched me, simply because I wasn’t able to make them for myself. Three of my favorite hours of the whole summer were spent alone in New York doing precisely what I wanted to do. I kept telling God, “I’ll be at peace when…”, “I’ll be okay if…”. Before finishing these fool-hardy sentences I’d get smacked in the head with the truth that I should be at peace and “okay” no matter what circumstance.

Even as I return home and pick up my daily life, I’m continually facing areas I can’t control. On a recent phone call with my sister she laughed at me and said “you just like to be in control of things”. I realized that she is right, of course, and that my learning to let go of the reigns did not stop simply because I changed coasts.

This time last year I purchased Francis Chan’s “Forgotten God.” I finally picked it up last night and began to read. I laugh, because I’m delinquent in getting to the book, but it is so perfectly timed to my life where I am now.

I just read:

“When it comes down to it, many of us do not really want to be led by the Holy Spirit. Or, more fundamentally, many of us don’t want to be led by anyone other than ourselves. The whole idea of giving up control (or the delusion of is) is terrifying, isn’t it? Do you thrive on controlling the big and small in your life? does the thought of letting go and listening to the Sprit’s guidance scare you and only make you cling tighter to what you think you have?” (50)

“But if you decide you do want to know His will, there will be moments when you have to let go of the fear of what that might mean–when you have to release your grip of control on your life and decide to be led, come what may.”

Convicting?

yes.

Cameras, Campers and Common Occurances

I’m in New England. Monterey, MA to be exact.

I can hear campers cheering in the distance, jumping, reaching, and trying (mostly failing) to dislodge a plastic penguin from a rope suspended over the deep end. Few things are as unique and satisfying as camp.

I love that we give kids the opportunity to be kids, but more than that I love that they get to hear the gospel.

Last week we had the privilege of spending the week with Matt Davis as he shared with our 7-11 year old campers, cute, precious, pesky things that they are. Among the frustrations of learning a new camera (the T2i Rebel) and feeling more than a little inadequate at something that usually comes easy… there were many moments of adorable smiles, encouraging words, and lessons in humility and grace. One camper, Logan, quickly reserved a small place in my heart as he eagerly invited me to spend meal times with him. “Sawah, Sawah, are you gowing to sit wid us at lunch?”
I was genuinely sad to see them go, and will forever remember their lovely, (mostly) innocent faces and antics.

But with every woe there is a something at which to look forward and for me it was the impending drive to Boston. Beyond the love of Dunkin’ Donuts, and my college friends, Boston is just a good city. I don’t think I stopped smiling all day. I had the immense privilege of showing our team the sites including the North End, Mike’s Pasties, the T, Park Street, Quincy Market, and the commons. After our walk about, we shared a lovely meal at Ristorante Saraceno which surprised as all. As the waitress showed us to our seats I was surprised over and over again as we were led through room and room, lower and lower… I think we ended up 5 rooms back and 3 stories below ground… it was grand.

An encouraging moment after dinner, shared with my new friend Faith, included being hit on at Faneuil Hall. While trite, it was still affirming.

In Boston we met with Chris Simming our speaker for week 2 who is hitting it out of the park. Tonight is decision night and I’m excited to see God move. This weekend, while full of site seeing, was good for my heart as I bonded with my teammates. Many of us are torn between campers and activities through the week and it was just good to truly meet them.

It has been said that with rain comes blessing. I wholeheartedly agree. After a week of excruciating (okay I’m exaggerating a little) heat the skies opened up and the water fell. Rain or shine the show usually goes on… unless it involves a camera. That said, I spent my time getting much needed rest, reading a good novel, and developing close friendships with my new friends from the Bay Area. I cannot reiterate enough just how great yesterday was.

And now after the loss of 4 hours of prime free time footage acquiring hours, today I must hunker down and get to work. Which reminds me, I’m late for lunch.

Live in the moment. Love it for what it is.

Thankful.

I’m thankful for honesty.
for encouragement.
for time with friends.
for good books.

I’m more than thankful for grace.
for mercy.
for love.

East Coast: I’m a comin’

Last week I heard that I will be joining the team back east to run camp for three weeks this summer. We will be at New England Kesswick from July 16th- August 6th. I’m excited.

The plan is to spend a few days in Boston after the last day of camp and catch up with old friends. Beyond the obvious joys of running camp, I’m looking forward to seeing old friends, and visiting my favorite places. These past three years have left an east coast hole in my heart that yearns to be full for a few days.

While I look to the summer, thoughts turn to life here:
It’s almost ironic… or just like God… that about the time that I am really excited about being HERE, I’m going to be elsewhere.

Perhaps I’m too comfortable. I’m not called to be comfortable. I’m called to glorify God by making disciples, wherever that may take me.

… here we go.

The roads are closed, the snow is falling

and all around friends are calling yoo-hoo… (I couldn’t resist)

I live in a winter wonderland and can’t help but wonder, how crazy it would be to live in a place like this without such an amazing community. More than just a little town (complete with it’s own fleet of snowplows) it’s a family.

So even though the roads are closed and I cannot foresee what I will do if I am stuck here for Christmas, I’m glad to be able to see the beauty of this storm, and glad to know that I will be okay even if I have to stay here.

— and come to think of it, that is also a metaphor for life.

Thought of the day:

If I trust that God is trustworthy,
why is it so hard for me to trust Him?

Favorite verse of the week:

Ecclesiastes 3:11-12

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live.”

Isaiah 10

God is just and full of righteous wrath.

Isaiah 10:1-11
What idols in your life need to be destroyed?
Do you care for the needy, the widows, the fatherless? (See James 1)
Isaiah 10:12-19
“the speech of the arrogant heart of the king”
Is your heart arrogant?
Do you think more of yourself than you ought?
Do you boast before God?
You are a tool to be wielded by God.
Isaiah 10:20-34
Do you lean on the Lord?
“destruction is decreed, overflowing with righteousness”
Be not afraid of those who strike, the yoke will be broken.